War Poet.ca - A CFAP Project by Suzanne Steele

more on heating up

as more and more of us learn our dates for deployment, things are heating up at home. the stress and unknown of it all. the fears. the strengths and weaknesses of bonds tested, revealed.

a correspondent tells me that this heating up is felt throughout all ranks, as family and friends begin to feel the closeness of departure and wonder at how it will change their beloved’s life, and their own lives. how the family will cope without that important one. and even though a soldier’s family may be fairly used to absence, physical, emotional, mental, as soldier is off on Ex. so much, especially before deployment, the reality of war ups the temp. tremendously.

my correspondent writes that he has learned, “when a spouse, common-law or girlfriend/boyfriend are burdensome and self-centred before and during the deployment there is a name for the phenomena: The Princess Syndrome. In the PPCLI, and in the Army in general there is room for only one Princess, her name is Patricia and she can’t be married to any of the soldiers.”

my experience of soldiers, and my personal experience as witness, convince me that war is possessive. that one starts to think of war, its meaning, the implications to one’s life, its obvious and more subtle dangers, more and more. this can be perceived as extremely self-centred as soldier draws into himself/herself more and more. soldier may also withdraw from family and lean more towards the ones that will go over with them. this bonding literally being life-saving. mentally as well as physically.

books, pamphlets, counsellors, all try and prepare families for deployment, and the very difficult year leading up to deployment, but ultimately no one can predict what the strain will cause on relationship. no matter how strong the bond, once the soldier knows they are going to war, a tiny bit of them, then gradually, more and more of them, leaves the family, and heads out the door, leaving only a thin trail of vapour of whom they used to be, for their family to try and hang on to.

1 Comment (Closed)


I am proud of you because you do get it, but this is just the start. The return can be even more difficult.

Aug 23 2009 · 20:07

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The page you're reading contains a single diary entry entitled more on heating up. It was posted here on August 23, 2009.


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