hooligan kit (from May Day)
Mar 28, 2011
walled in, hescoe’d, 3’ thick, hand-built PTSD,
your war > than mine, your fall > deadlier+
but hey, we’ve got a hooligan kit, wire cutters
snip, snip, snip, let light slip inside. laser. beam.
are you there?
am I there?
fuck! is there a there?
turn the goddamn light out. they’re watching. from behind those Canadian trees.
6’2, 225 lbs your fall, rockstar-rockslide,
epic (our 14 year olds say) avalanche;
ice age,
glacial, could it be otherwise?
***
in our hooligan kit, an axe, a pick
slash slash slash, tick tick, tick,
faces beneath the glass surface of ice mouthing
“get me out get us out get me out of here”
frozen heart = too much memory
IED wiggly-wires, metal-plates exposed after big rains,
your wounded, your dead+
incoming, shitshow on the home front
again (who are you calling a Princess Princess?)
in our kit look! coeur, court, courage, courageant
heart, run, couraging, running with heart,
our ancestors paddled centuries
blue-green rapids, buffalo grasslands
hey up
warrior pierce your breast
***
me: Sitrep Locstat please
you: g2g, always g2g
misery bowl of valley, green Suffield mud
another wet Ex, another road to war
you, again,
breaking down others’ chaos
chaos, breaking it down
like cardboard boxes
emptying, stacking,
numbering
you, buying bitching boys Timmies
(double double/donut holes) on your own dime
you dig in alongside
pull no rank fixing, always fixing
chaos 1 shitshow
chaos 2 fuckup
chaos 3 übercock
chaos 4 some higher-up’s ego
hooligan kit: paracord, rope, matches
POOF!
cardboard boxes of ass-pain
Gone.
****
your body broke
68 jumps (you said you died every time)
24 years humping 70 lbs of gear
Bosnia, Croatia, A’stan (2x)
lead, prove, strive, lead, prove, strive
old man at 42
your heart
certifiably cracked in two
but it’s done now baby
it’s done
our hooligan kit: the soft slide
beneath cocoa coloured blankets
it’s -40 C outside,
then a pen
sign on the dotted
line.
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The page you're reading contains a single diary entry entitled hooligan kit (from May Day). It was posted here on March 28, 2011.