War Poet.ca - A CFAP Project by Suzanne Steele

after (5)

Officers versus the Senior NCO’s hockey game. 2008. when the boys were still alive. when the boys were still whole.

I slipped across the ice in my knee high city boots. the winners (the Officers) sprawled in front of the net, or stood tall. Andrew, Lt. Nuttall, Nutts as they called him. alive. so goddamn handsome. smiling smiling from the back row. the Officers wanted me to take a pic. because for some reason, no one else seemed to have a camera but the poet. P.L.
when he died, I sent his mother a copy.

I shot a few pics. then the officers dispersed. the senior NCO’s had gone to grab a brew. get ready for the dinner in the hangar, then drinks that night in the officers’ mess.

tonight, on the phone you say to me D. it seems like a lifetime ago. and it was. it was before all of us fully opened the bottle of war, lost the perfume of innocence in our lives.

I remember how hard it was to go home that year on the road to war. how home could never understand that to contemplate death, really contemplate it, takes one somewhere else. and this appears so selfish. and maybe it is. but suddenly everything. everything. is so much shinier. and the ones who will maybe save one’s life, become the ones to attach to. temporarily.

and the ones who love us. who have real courage, real faith. somehow knew we’d come home eventually. changed, true, but maybe, just maybe even better. if we survived. and they missed us. but they blessed us. because that’s what love is. to allow others their destinies.

2 Comments (Closed)


opening that bottle of war does indeed take courage and faith from so many — another beautiful poem, thanks

Sep 14 2010 · 10:30

Nancy Wilson

“… to allow others their destinies” does take unconditional love, reason and, certainly, an open mind. Talking helps.
Thanks for taking a thought onto another level.

Sep 14 2010 · 17:01

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The page you're reading contains a single diary entry entitled after (5). It was posted here on September 12, 2010.


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